As an atheist, I have always associated gratitude with some sort of obedience to God. Acknowledging the power of a superior being to control the joy or suffering in one’s own life. I’ve come to realize an important aspect of gratitude is a recognition that much of one’s success or suffering is as much a result of random, outside forces as it is of one’s own agency and efforts. Probably the most significant random event is the accidental circumstances of our own birth. This understanding is most important when it leads to compassion for those whose circumstances of birth are more dire than my own, and suspicion and even contempt of those who claim their success and wealth are wholly self made and as such needn’t be shared.
Often, there is a specific act by a specific person for us to be grateful for. In such cases, I think that a public declaration of our gratitude and thankfulness is required, not just a private meditation. It’s a kindly gesture, and the world can never have too much kindness. But, more importantly, it’s an acknowledgement of our interdependence as social creatures, that we each depend on thousands of small actions by thousands of other people to maintain our lifestyle and culture. We could take an economists transactional view of all this, “quid pro quo” as it were. But I would prefer to live in a world at least partly ruled by kindness and gratitude.
The responsibility for creating that world rests on us and all of our little daily interactions and even our inner monologue. There was a reason mom and dad taught us to always say “Please” and “Thank you”.